Imposter Syndrome - 6 ways to beat it

Imposter Syndrome – that daunting, overwhelming fear of being found out. Constantly waiting for that moment your colleagues realise you’re a fraud, with no idea what you’re doing and no right to be there. It’s like waiting permanently naked in a dark room, waiting for your boss to turn the lights on. Many would argue that it’s worse than the underlying anxiety of ‘what if’, and more like a case of ‘when’. The fact that imposter syndrome has become such a buzz word is indicative of how common it has become, particularly within the UK workforce. Over 85% of adults have reportedly suffered from imposter syndrome at some point in their lives. That’s a whole lot of fear we’re hiding behind. 

As a young female entrepreneur, the underlying anxiety of ‘waiting to be discovered as a fraud’, was a feeling I become completely and utterly accustomed to. With every new client I won, employee I hired or deal I secured, I wondered when I would be discovered. When would they all find out that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, and that I had no qualifications to back me up? In truth, they wouldn’t. Of course they wouldn’t. I began to realise the power and understand the impact of the stories I was telling myself. If I continued to tell myself that I didn’t have enough qualifications, enough experience, or enough (fill in the blank), then I would always feel like I wasn’t enough. But what if I could switch this narrative, and adopt a new empowered mindset to help me lose the fear and feel true confidence? This is exactly what I did – let me tell you how.

One thing I have learnt for certain, is that imposter syndrome is not a one-size-fits-all feeling, and nor is it fussy about the type of person’s mind that it settles into. In fact it’s often those that appear overwhelmingly confident, successful and together that are crippled by the fear of being ‘found out’ (just ask Lady Gaga or Sheryl Sandberg). So if it’s so commonplace amongst us (especially women), why do we suffer from it? The answer is actually very simple. As a confidence coach and no stranger to the feeling, let me break it down for you.

Our society teaches us that there is always more we should be doing. That we ‘should’ be turning our hobbies into profitable side-hustles, waking up 3 hours earlier to meditate, striving for bigger salaries or for more power at work – the list goes on. The constant pressure to do more, enables us to believe that we are currently not doing enough. The impact of this? Never feeling good enough. Never feeling like you’re the best person for the job, or for your partner, or at home. Feeling sure someone else would do x better than you. Here-in starts the vicious cycle. You start with not feeling good enough and scared to be discovered, so you work extra hard or crazy hours (hello burnout) in order to make sure you’re as prepared as you could possibly be. Once you inevitably get the job / do well in your presentation – you believe this was just luck and that it’s because you stayed up all night, received help or no-one noticed the mistakes you made. The outcome? You continue to work harder and faster, as your creeping anxiety grows, and you wait with baited breath for the next presentation when you’re sure to fail. Does this sound familiar? The problem with imposter syndrome, is that it doesn’t disappear once you do something well, or prove your negative thought-pattern wrong. It’s as if your mind can’t internalise your exterior successes. 

In order to tackle imposter syndrome, you need to do just that: tackle it. Face it head on, and acknowledge what you’re feeling and become curious with why you might be feeling that way. Here are some ideas to help you beat imposter syndrome: 

Be Curious

Self-awareness is at the root of all healing and change, and once you start to become aware of your thoughts and curious about them, rather than punishing yourself, your whole outlook will shift. Stop and think – ‘why am I feeling this way?’. Embrace your thoughts and feelings rather than trying to suppress them, think about what message they are trying to give you.  

Re-Frame

Once you can identify your thoughts, you can start to reframe them, or come up with new (and empowering) perspectives. Make the simple shift from dwelling on the negative, to focus on the positive. 

Old perspective: ‘What if I don’t get the job because I’ve asked for too much money and they know I’m not worth it?’

New perspective: ‘I am worthy of the salary I have asked for, and have done the best I can. There are lots of other opportunities out there if this one doesn’t work out’. 

Don’t keep quiet

Irrational thoughts breed and fester when you keep them locked away inside your head. Talk to people about how you’re feeling – friends, family or co-workers. If this isn’t available to you, consider seeking professional help; in the form of a therapist, coach or mentor. You will find that almost everyone you confide in has felt exactly the same way at some stage in their life. Just knowing you’re not alone can help alleviate some of the anxiety.

Social Proof

If you feel your thoughts spiralling into that dangerous ‘what if’ territory, write down what exactly it is you are afraid of. If for example it’s giving a presentation at work, try writing a list of all the presentations you have done that were successful. Tuning into the logical, rational side of your brain can help tame the anxiety.

Cut the Comparison

We’re all guilty of comparing ourselves to others; people who seem more successful, easier-going, less stressed, better partners etc. The truth is – we never really know what’s going on in anyone else’s world. We can make all the assumptions we like and why someone seems so successful, but how does this serve us? Not very well, at all. We’re all trying to do our best, so keep your head down and focus on your end goal, don’t worry about what others are doing. 

What’s the worst thing that can happen?

Last, but definitely not least. If all else fails, ask yourself ‘what’s the worst thing that can happen?’ More often than not, its absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

If you’re feeling like an imposter, it’s likely you are experiencing success in some form. Without sounding hideously cliché, can you find a way to be grateful for this? A fresh perspective, honest conversation or listening to your logic are simple tools to use to help you fight the fear.