Why being single is not a death sentence

This one’s for my single ladies. If you’re snuggled up on the sofa with your other half - read no further.

Tis the season to be merry, bring yourself some joy and finally, learn how to be happy with being single. Bringing in the New Year does not have to mean a total life shake up – let’s change that toxic narrative and instead focus on finding happiness with where you are. Once you’ve mastered that, the festive period can be an absolute joy, here’s how:

Date yourself

The cold weather is not, I repeat, NOT, an excuse to couple (or cuff) up with your fourth best option on Bumble. Do not settle. You are so much better than that. Enduring luke-warm chit chat over Whatsapp and making turkey dinner comparisons will not cure you of any festive fuelled loneliness. Do you really want to know what this almost-stranger bought his nan for Christmas? Probably not. Instead, why don’t you use that love and attention on treating yourself – buy yourself a nice gift, revel in glorious me-time, enjoy not having to endure awkward drinks parties at the (hypothetical) in-laws. Do things for you, that you wouldn’t normally do. Treat yo’self. 

Set your boundaries 

It’s that time of year when suddenly your relationship status apparently becomes the most interesting thing about you, and that pesky ability to compare ourselves to absolutely everyone and everything around us comes into play. You do not have to explain to your distant cousin why you are single, or justify to your grandparents why you may, or may not want kids. Do you enquire and probe into their sex life and life choices? Most definitely not. 

Cut the Comparisons

Comparison is the thief of joy as they say – and this rings particularly true around the holiday season. If scrolling through Instagram is making you feel miserable, stop. If you’re being triggered by happy couples, New Year mini-breaks and endless engagement selfies – either mute those accounts or turn your phone off. Instead, why not spend that time doing something more productive, or at least help peel the spuds. Don’t forget you’re only seeing a teeny tiny snapshot of someone’s life – be careful not to make assumptions and jump to conclusions that their life is as flawless as it looks (#verymuchfiltered).

Watch your Booze

Despite it (almost always) feeling like a wonderful idea to open that third bottle of wine, it’s news to no-one that alcohol is a depressant. It intensifies your current mood, and if that’s not appealing to you, then it’s worth keeping an eye on how much you are consuming. Not to mention the anxiety inducing hangover and dreaded New Year beer fear. If you’re feeling pressured or don’t want to miss out on the festivities, there are plenty of delicious alcohol-free spirits on the market. It’s worth noting that this approach will likely decrease your chances of rogue swiping – your Hinge profile will thank you in the morning. 

Find peace with where you are

This time of year is often the catalyst for questioning ‘where you are’ in your life, and perhaps wondering why you’re not where you thought you might be. My advice? Don’t waste your energy on these thoughts. Thoughts are nothing until we give them meaning. Say that again and again. Have another mince pie, lie on the floor with your dog, make origami out of left-over Christmas paper – don’t waste your time on dwelling on what ‘could’ or ‘should’ have been.

You are Enough

You are perfect just as you are. You are enough just as you are. Repeat after me. The pressure of ‘New Year, New’ You would drive anyone crazy – and in fact that’s often what it does. For the first few weeks anyway until you realise learning Japanese and losing 15lbs isn’t the answer to lifelong happiness. It’s totally up to you how you want to bring the New Year in – do it with friends, do it alone. Don your glitziest party frock and ring in the New Year on the dancefloor, or put on your softest PJ’s at hit the hay at 9pm. You do you. It’s just another night in life. 

Did you find this useful? Help a sista out and share with your single gals. Trust me, they will thank you.