HELLO magazine: Hypnotherapy
Every week I write a column for Hello Magazine, and am on a mission to cut through the noise and find out what really works, in order to help you become the happiest, healthy version of yourself. I set out to explore everything and anything I can to increase happiness, and promise not to hold back.
Living in a world that’s constantly pushing and pulling us to achieve more, do more or earn more – can be overwhelming to say the least. One thing we can all agree we want more of, and let’s be honest, need, is happiness. The quest to be happy can feel both all-consuming and never-ending, and often we don’t know where to start to reach those desired dopamine levels or feel energised by joy.
There’s a lot of noise out there in the wellness industry, with an abundance of treatments, therapies and professionals on offer – all promising to boost our general wellbeing and in turn make us happier. But what really works? How do you know where to start? This week I wrote about my experience with Hypnotherapy.
How Hypnotherapy healed my heartbreak
Hands up who can remember their first heartbreak? It’s an almost impossible experience to forget, and likely came after a wonderfully blissful period of young love, hope and optimism. So why is it that as adults, the pain can still feel visceral? It’s one of those situations that doesn’t seem to get easier to deal with, no matter how experienced you are or how much self-love you’ve practiced. The bad news is – there’s no one-size-fits-all way to heal, but the good news? There are many different things you can try.
From my experience, the worst part about a break-up is feeling like a victim of your own thoughts, which might mean ruminating on certain conversations or situations, or becoming stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. When we’re ruled by our emotions, which we so often are after a break-up, it can be difficult to tune in to that logical side of our brain. It’s our logic that will allow us to believe we will (one day!) be ok, we will feel normal again and life will move on without said person. So without this, feeling overwhelmed and confused will often prevail.
There are lots of different things you can try to help you heal, but if there’s one thing my job as a confidence coach has taught me, is that you have to find out what works for you. After trying all the usual ‘quick fixes’, I was recommended hypnotherapy.
Here’s how it helped cure my heartbreak.
What is hypnotherapy?
Hypnotherapy is an incredibly transformative, powerful modality which is used to treat a variety of symptoms to help you take back control of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Hypnotherapy can help with a wide range of issues, including; trouble with sleep, lack of confidence, trauma, addiction, stopping smoking, creating healthier habits, phobias and disordered eating.
A hypnotherapist will work with your unconscious mind to uncover patterns in thoughts and behaviour, and use this as a catalyst for change. While the mind is in a relaxed state, it is easier and faster to change negative beliefs you might hold about yourself or be able to reframe thought patterns that are holding you back.
What happens during the session?
My initial conversation with Kathy (Fortescue, clinical hypnotherapist) lasted about 45minutes, and due to her warm and nurturing nature, I knew instantly I was in safe hands.
As with any therapist it’s important to find someone you feel you can trust, and feel at ease with.
The session took place on zoom, and once the consultation was complete, I turned my phone (and all distracting devices) off, lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. The hypnotherapy session began with a gentle induction, which is the point at which you fall into the state of hypnosis. A common misconception of hypnotherapy is that as the client you are out of control and have no agency over your thoughts or body. I can confirm this is absolutely not true! You should feel very relaxed, calm and safe. It’s the same state you’re in moments before you fall asleep, and this is exactly how it feels.
The actual hypnosis lasted for over an hour, but it felt like minutes. Kathy used a range of techniques to uncover limiting beliefs I held about love, relationships and myself. She gave me space to say all the things I needed to say, without fear of judgement or any repercussions. We worked through traumatic memories, feelings of grief and any residing anger. She gave me techniques to control and manage any negative thoughts, and finished the session with a series of empowering statements. This in itself was incredibly cleansing and freeing – after having so many thoughts about my breakup pent up for so long.
How do you feel afterwards?
I immediately felt lighter after the session, like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It was in the days to follow that I noticed the biggest difference. All of the thoughts surrounding my break-up that had previously occupied so much of my time, had either vanished or I was equipped to reframe them. My mind felt so much calmer, and I felt fully back in control. I felt noticeably more positive and confident about myself and the future, and really couldn’t believe how much I had changed in such a short space of time.
Hypnotherapy was incredibly effective for me, and it was exactly what I needed after a painful break-up. The huge impact my session had led me to train and qualify as a clinical hypnotherapist myself, and you can find out more about my work here. Ironically, I specialise in helping others to heal from heartbreak!